Nan started taking pictures in 1968 after a teacher introduced her to the camera. Her sister had committed suicide in 1965 and she had turned to her friends to create a new “family”. It was when the memory of her sister began to become fuzzy that she really started to take pictures. She wanted to commit the present to a picture so as to not forget the moment or the people. Two of the most important people to her were David Armstrong and Suzanna Flectcher. David was a transgender man Suzanna bisexual [though I could not get a clear answer I believe she and Goldin had a relationship of sorts] through them and the family Nan Goldin gained access to the drag and gay underground.
Her first solo show was held in Boston in 1973. Her first book was The Ballad of Sexual Dependency. Was made up of the photo’s taken from 1979 to 1986. In it it depicted drug use, sex, violent dysfunctional couples. They had a snap shot feel. Capturing autobiographical moments with out censorship. Her main focus in early work could be said to be the culture of obsession and dependency. There is was a strong exploration of sex and sexuality. The pictures of the book were originally held as slide shows set to music and held, at first, in punk clubs. The slide shows lasted about forty five minutes. It helped get exposure for some of her friends who where up and coming in the world of drag.
Nan did not only photograph this underground world she lived it. Having taken part in her fair share of drugs, sexual partners, and abuse. The self portrait of her post beating by the hand of her ex-boyfriend Brian is a testament to that. She did not simply record others lives but her own also. There is a series of her and Brian having sex and he and she appear on the cover of Ballad.
As far as drugs she saw herself and friends as people who used and did not abuse. In one interview she spoke of having Thanksgivings with her “family” and them enjoying “some turkey and coke”.
By 1988 things began to catch up with Nan as she went from user to abuser, as so many of her friends had. By this time many of her friends and make shift family were gone, past away from AIDS and drugs in most cases. Even Suzanna was near death at this time. Feeling herself sinking Nan checked herself into rehab. While she had done self portraits before it was in the hospital that she really began to photograph herself. The photo Self-portrait with milagro is amazing. In it she is sitting on the hostpial bed with a small cross above it. There is a lack of color except for her lips which are ruby red, her face out of focus. You can feel her sense f lack of space when you look at it.
In 1995 she published a book with her life long friend David Armstrong called A Double Life. I think it is a retrospective. Both having a conversation via photographs about their intertwined lives. The love and lovers they have witnessed. The friends lost to AIDS. The hopes and aspirations and the let downs. All of these are set in a juxtaposition as Nan Photographs in color and David in black and white.
By the mid nineties Nan’s style changed or at least expanded. She began to take pictures of mothers, babies and parenthood. She also takes amazing photos of people floating in water. Landscapes, New York sky line, and her lover, Siobhan. Which Brings us to the Devils Playground.
I went back to the SJ MoMA many a time and months later finally bought Playground. I find myself more connected to her later work as I can not truly relate to her early stuff as much. What Nan has given this generation is rather big. As someone who is apart of the “blogosphere” Nan Goldin gave the go ahead for focusing on your own world of friends. She made it so even though you are not famous and neither are your friends it is okay to explore and show their lives. It is beyond trendy, it is almost necessary as a young adult, to have the have snapshots documenting your night of partying, or of your day to day relationships and connections.
This is a report I turned in today for my b/w Photography.
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